Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Can you hear me now?

God speaks to us. He speaks to ALL of us. We may not hear him. We may not be listening and most of the time, I don't take to heart what He is telling me. Most of the time, God speaks to me through music. He has told me more through a Third Day CD than I ever thought I would hear.
However, sometimes He speaks to us at the most unusual moments. For example, either driving down the road, stuck in traffic, at work during the most stressful moments. Its in His time, not ours.
Last night, I had the extreme idea to cut my grass right around sunset. Not that I really wanted to cut the grass in the dark, it was just a lot less humid and a lot less HOT to do it then. So while I am hot, sweaty and just walking behind the mower, I got some time to think. I know, a dangerous place for me to be. I just got to thinking why hasn't God done this or this or this?
Almost INSTANTLY, God spoke up. He basically asked me why I am not seeking happiness in Him. Why am I not happy with the blessings that he has given me?
I realized that for the first time, maybe my search for someone in my life, has gone down the wrong road. Maybe I am not taking, as Robert Frost says, "the road less traveled." Maybe I am doing the same thing over and over again trying to fix my life myself. I realized that I dont seek God first in everything that I do. I dont turn over my problems and situations to Him.
It also made me think about the blessings in my life that God has given me and how ungrateful I am. So today, I am thankful to God for what He has done and is going to do in my life. Today I am going to try and seek Him first in everything.

God, you have blessed me in so many ways. Nothing I could ever do would be worthy enough to thank you. So today, in my own way, here are just a few of the things in life that you have blessed me with that I am thankful for....
My family - I dont get to see them everyday but I know they are there if I need them. They are there if I just need to hear a friendly familiar voice and that they love me unconditionally.
A great childhood full of good memories - I look back on my life and realize what everyone said then is true. That truely was the time of my life and I would not know it until now. Now I know it and I have those incredible memories that no one can take away from me.
My life - I have a brand new home. I drive a brand new truck. I have every gadget I have ever wanted. I live in a great neighborhood and go to the most AWESOME church I have ever been to. I have a great job.
Blake and Emily - Even though they aren't mine, there are no words to express what I feel when I drive up and they come running. To see the look on Emily's face as she leaps into my arms or the joy Blake shows when he beats me at a video game, or either of them, just wanting to spend time with me is incredible.
For watching over me - Lets review my past....hit by a car, hand through window, put through car window, hand through a window AGAIN, divorce, living in ATLANTA, GA, diabetic coma, etc. I keep you on your toes just looking out for me.

But mostly, I am thankful for nails. The nails in Your Son's hand and feet mean that this is only a stopping point in my life. When the first nail caused the first drop of blood to fall, my life was forever changed.
I may get stressed, I may worry, I may forget you are there. Help me to stop and know that You are.