2 weeks….For the past 2 weeks Steph and I have been parents to 2 children in the foster system. For what seems like 2 eternities, we have been working on growing our family and God answered our prayers. For 2 weeks, there was getting up early for daycare, brushing their teeth, eating more pizza and ravioli than I ever have in my life. I have watched Tinkerbell, Spiderman, Barbie, Toy Story 1, 2 and 3 and what seemed to be an endless showing of the Scooby Do movies.
And 2 days ago, these kids went to another home.
I said in a previous post that these kids are perfect. I still stand by that statement as God himself, created these kids in His image, but these were not the perfect kids for us. Adults in their past have created issues in the kids that are more than what Steph and I are qualified to help with. Some issues were known about before hand but none to the extreme that we discovered.
These smiling faces need help to overcome what others in their lives have shown them.
So last night, we packed up the last of their toys, their clothes, and numerous stuffed animals so that they can have their belongings where ever God moves them to. We pressed the reset button on our lives so that for the time being, we can overcome. We can overcome the process that failed us, and the kids, and put 2 kids in need of desperate help in a home that was not qualified or trained to help them in the way that they needed help.
So now what? What is next for me and Steph?
We are good. We are going to take some time for us. We are going to finish putting our house back in order and enjoy life together. Since about day 2 of our marriage, we have been wanting to grow our family and now that we have just a small glimpse of what it takes to be a parent, after the miscarriages, the failed procedures, we are looking to God for what He has in store for us. Being a parent may not be in His plans for us and if that’s the case, we are OK with it.
I had struggled with not being a parent until last night. As I sat on the couch thinking about the possibility of not being a parent and making a difference in the life of a child, God spoke very loudly to me. He reminded me that even though we have not had children of our own, and that even though this was not a good match for us, we have been there. We have been involved in the lives of so many youth and so many children. Some of these kids we are still able to stay in touch with. Some are now in college while some have graduated college and are looking towards their adult lives. We have used the skills and training that God has given us to reach out and impact a lot of kids that if we were parents, we might not have had that chance. Because we were not parents of just 1 or 2, we were able to plant seeds in so many more.
It was exactly what I needed to hear from Him.
I am at a point in my life, that if Stephanie and I are not parents, I’m ok with that. As long as we still work together to have the great marriage that we have and we continue to follow where God leads us, we will have an amazing life……just the 2 of us.
For many years, we have prayed to grow our family. You have heard our cries and answered those prayers, if only for a short time. Thank You for answered prayers. Thank You for the time that we had with Damien and Alexis. Watch over them and care for them. Provide the help that they need to be all that You have for them. Help us to overcome for we know that You can bring the right child in to our lives when we are ready, and it’s the right time that You have for us.