Who do you say that I am?
I love it when God just speaks. I love it when He talks so clearly that you almost hear Him audibly. Often I put too many things between God and myself that I make the world a very noisy place, but there are times that I put on my headphones and work, listen to some great tunes and just zone the world away.
Today was one of those days where I was able to block the world out, and hear what God had to say….
It started off as normal. I work in a fast pace environment and then I usually either get a phone call or an email telling me that Stephanie has updated her blog. (She is going through the bible chronologically and blogging her thoughts, check it out at http://kswhite520.wordpress.com/). Today she had finished up Exodus and was doing Psalm 90.
The Psalm started out titled “A prayer of Moses the man of God.” That hit me like a 2×4 to the head. Steph was taking the passage in a different awesome direction but God asked me the question, could I take out the name of Moses and put in my name? Could this passage read, “A prayer of Keith the man of God?”
The more that I thought about this and the more that I talked with Steph about it, the more and more I was intrigued by thinking about the question. Then God took me to Mark 8:
27Now Jesus and His disciples went out to the towns of Caesarea Philippi; and on the road He asked His disciples, saying to them, “Who do men say that I am?”28So they answered, “John the Baptist; but some say, Elijah; and others, one of the prophets.”29He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?”Peter answered and said to Him,“You are the Christ.” Mark 8:27-29 NKJV
So the question then became, what would someone in my circle of friends, family, coworkers and just people that God puts in my path, who would they say that I am? Who is Keith? Does the life that I lead, the example of Christ that I am commanded to be each and every day, what does that say about me?
Then the tables turned. God, again almost audibly, began to ask me, Keith, who do you say that I am?
I am a huge fan of Vertical Church and Meredith Andrews song, “Not for a Moment.” The song is about God never leaving us or forsaking us. It is an incredibly powerful song that I haven’t been able to listen to the past few weeks. As I am still dealing with my grief over the passing of my dad, this song has just been too painful, too sad to listen to….
I found a video of Meredith telling the story behind the song. Her and Patrick, the co-writers of the song, were both dealing with tough times in their families. One was dealing with a sibling that wasn’t saved. The other would later deal with the loss of an expected new birth in the family. (Sound familiar?) Meredith asked God point blank, “Where are You in this? We are walking through these trials together. Where are you God?”
She said that God replied to her, “You say that I am Good. You say it over and over and even from the stage that I am Good, but do you believe it now when its hardest to believe it? When you heart is breaking and you feel like your world is falling apart, do you believe that I am still Good because I am, still Good. I am still Who I say I am even in the hard times.”
I never get tired of hearing other people, friends, family and even strangers, tell us that we have an incredible marriage. We do. We work at it every day and we keep Christ in the center, but the past few years have been incredibly hard on me and Steph. Even through it all, 2 miscarriages, another failed IUI, tough financial times, the loss of so many people close to us, and most recently, the passing of my dad, our marriage and our walk with Christ only grows stronger each day. I have said it before I don’t know how people without Christ in their lives make it through but never in my life, has God been more evident. He has come through in more answered prayers than I could ever count. He has brought people into our lives to help us grieve, and cope, and adjust, and take care of things, and provided for us, and comforted us, and on, and on, and on.
So God’s question today for me was, “Keith, today, right now, as you are in some of the toughest few years of your life, who do you say that I am?”
My answer is simple. You are good. Yes these past few years have seemed dark but you gave me more blessings than I am ever worthy of. You have given me an amazing wife to help comfort me and be a very bright light in the dark times. You have given me an incredible family to be with and love on me through the hardships. You have surrounded us by friends and family to help us make it to the light on the other side. You are showing us the next chapter in our lives. You are going before us. You are preparing a place for us. You love us even when we don’t show it in return or even deserve the love that You are giving us. So my answer God, through it all, You are still Good. Through the tough times, You have never left us once, not for a moment….