“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
After all, today is August 2, 2013 and I am still trying to find out where February went. Stephanie and I have been married for 7 years this year. Where did that time go? Conversations have changed in my life from talking about how many bricks to put under the bike ramp, to retirement plans. I remember the most difficult thing that I had to worry about was how to get gas for my gocart. Now I have a mortgage, I have to manage my blood sugar, and mow my own lawn and not get paid for it. I have cousins not much older than me, who are GRANDPARENTS! Really?
Recently, one of my friends who is a year younger than me, had bypass surgery. He didn’t just have one artery bypassed, he had 5! Another friend just found out that she has breast cancer. Stephanie and I have faced not one, but 2 miscarriages and another failed IUI attempt in the past few years. Now we are going after another fertility process that has greater odds in our favor than ever before.
These on top of me losing my dad just a few weeks ago are so not conversations that I expected to be having at this point in my life. Call me selfish if you want but I’m just not ready. I still collect Hot Wheels and have a lot of them on the shelves in my home office. That’s another thing. When did I go from playing in the back yard, in the pecan tree or in the “barn” tearing down bicycles and motorcycles, to checking my bank statements and working from home on the computer? When did life take me from playing Phantasie with my friends in front of a tv used as a computer monitor, to designing air conditioning systems for high rise hotels?
When I was younger, there wasn’t high speed internet, smart phones, or DVD players. I had friends that when I needed to talk to them, I did just that. I didn’t send them a text. I didn’t email them my agenda for the day. I hung out with them. I spent time with them. When did life…..speed up?
I’m not ready for this.
Truth is, we will never be ready to lose a parent, to face major surgery, or to face cancer head on and not let it defeat you. I am certainly not ready to be struggling with growing our family. We won’t ever be ready for these but we are prepared to face adversity. Those people that God has placed in our lives, taught us how to be prepared and how to march on through adversity, through loss, through grief, through uncertainty. My mom is showing me that every day. She lost her best friend for 47 years and she is leaning on God. She is a ROCK! I have heard her say so many times recently that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me….” and I am still learning from her. Other friends of my family faced the same issues and I have seen how they came through on the other side. It can be done, through the One who can bring us through.
It has been said that God will never give us more than we can handle and I disagree with that. If we could handle tough times on our own, then would we need to lean on Him in tough times? God will often give us more than we can handle on our own, but not more than we can through Him.
But, I still love remembering those days of purple chopper bikes, hot wheels, and friends who I am still connected with today!
I have so many great childhood memories. So many memories of family and friends. Help me to always remember those times in my life that were truly blessings. Bring people into my life, who will become lifelong friends to add to the long list of people already in my life. Help us to always remember those who have gone on to be with you. Be with, comfort, and heal those in my life who are hurting, grieving, or facing adversity head on. Prepare me as life takes me from bicyles….to what ever life brings!