This week has really been difficult. First, a friend of mine from high school finally lost her battle with cancer and passed away. Then, my friend and coworker for over 7 years, Ron, retired from ATR. He retired not because he wanted to but because he had no other alternative. They will both be missed.
Throw those 2 things on top of an incredibly slow week with no hope of relief from the job and bing, depression creeps in the door. It has really made me say “Ok, God, you said ask and you will receive, knock and the door will be opened”. I felt like I have been knocking on this door so long and so hard that I am numb. It has really made me question, “Maybe God isn’t wanting us to be in youth ministry”.
I let gloom and doom walk right in the front door and make themselves a drink.
So, in the spirit of OK I need someone to tell me what I want to hear, I called a couple of friends of mine who as expected, told me exactly what I didnt want to hear at the time. The encouraged me but had no answers. They prayed for me right there, but couldn’t show me the way.
So I in turn, turned my doubts back on to God.
Ok God, you said in the bible, “Ask and you will receive. I’ve been asking but haven’t received yet. I’ve almost knocked a hole in this door and it still isnt open.”
Then God showed up…..
“You haven’t received???”
“The door isn’t open???”
God basically told me to take another look. Yes, I may not have received my way and the door I want may not be open but take another look.
I looked back on just the past few months. We have bonded and grown closer to the youth at LMBC than ever. Wednesday night, we were surrounded by our youth during dinner and not because we sat down with them, but they sat down with us. Steph is leading the next youth production that is going to be HUGE and all the kids keep her updated on what they are doing in school with drama. She is also hosting the older youth girls for D-Now. (Pray for me on that weekend as I will definately be outnumbered lol) I have also gotten out of my box and I am teaching Focus on the 21st. I have the most awesome group of youth around me that are branching out in so many ways to go after God that it is almost unbelievable. We are doing EXACTLY what we asked for. We are so far in the room we wanted the door to be opened to, that we cant even see the door anymore.
So, I’ve once again taken the blinders, leading to my way, off and I’m focusing on what is God’s way.
Once again, I have tried to make life go my way. I wanted have things my way and lost sight of Your way. Help me to find my way back on to the path You have for me. Help me to see that Your way is the best and only way.